Gone Fishing
Honestly, I don’t really know when I started fishing with my grandfather. I’ve just… always been. There was never a trip to China where I didn’t fish with Yeye.
[Funny story interlude] For some context, most Chinese fishermen still use hand rods.
When you see the bobber slightly pull downwards, you pull the rod very quickly to the left or right side in order to set the hook on the unsuspecting fish. One time Yeye pulled a little too hard, missed the fish, and landed the hook on my earlobe. I still have the scar I think, if you ask maybe I can show you.
My love for fish started young. I was always intrigued by the plethora and wide variety of aquatic food dishes served at my Chinese dinner table ever since I was a kid. The steamed halibut topped off with fish soy and garnished with green onions sliced longer than my fingers. The pan-fried tilapia seasoned only with salt mixed with the struggle to peel off and only eat the sticky skin. The stinky tofu marinated fish that smelled so abhorrently but was so flavorful and came right off the bone, such flaky flesh that was such a delight to eat. The freshwater eel, sautéed to perfection and cut in such a way that made eating around the bone so fun, it was like a playground activity. And my personal favorite (albeit to the dismay of my gut), the giant steamed fish head topped with chopped chilis. The painful hot spice of each bite, and despite my brain sending warning signals, I continue to plunge my chopsticks into the steamy, white flesh and subjecting myself to full-body sweats.
I also remember my young treks to the infamous 99 Ranch, my Chinese/Asian safe haven from the onslaught of raLPhs, vOnS, or worse, aLbeRTsonS. My first destination was always the seafood in the back. My favorite pastime as my parents tirelessly picked out perfect onions and cabbages was looking at all the catfish, tilapia, and lobsters floating around in their glass prisons. I loved picking up the metal tongs and messing with the blue and red crabs until a random Chinese Nainai scolded me. And as I walked down the (hall?) seeing all the saltwater fish displayed on the ice made me wonder what really lay beneath the vast ocean. And as my parents finished shopping, it was always a challenge to drag me away from my aquatic wonderland.
Again, I don’t really remember when I started fishing with Yeye, I just always did. Fishing was just so fun. The feeling of lifting up your trophy after 10 minutes of sitting patiently and another 2 minute battle of attrition was unmatched by anything else little me had ever felt. The small but euphoric realization that your long, thin bobber was actually bobbing up and down. The power trip you felt as you quickly pulled right, setting the hook, and commanding the unsuspecting fish to your will. Watching Nainai gut and clean every fish and watching her smile as you tell her that the one she’s currently cleaning was the one that YOU caught. And the best part was seeing your prize on the dinner table later that night, sharing it with your entire family.
Fishing, although a fun pastime, taught me a lot. Cliche to say but patience really is key when fishing. And although I’ve never been more impatient about my life than right now, I’ll always appreciate Yeye for hammering patience into me as a kid. Sometimes, trips don’t go as expected. Hot days result in hot fish not wanting to move, and rainy days result in timid fish not wanting to move. That devasting feeling of not having a bite for 20 minutes, only to lift up your rod and realize that your bait dissolved into the water. Days when fish decide to be the next coming of Agent 007 and deceptively nibble around your bait until the hook is revealed and then quickly swim away. So infuriating. But in time, you learn that fishing is like life, not everything turns out the way you want. Not every trip goes perfectly and challenges always occur. But what’s important is your mindset. Are you gonna let that stupid fish outsmart you? Maybe, but I’ll just catch his dumber friend. It’s hot and no fish are biting? Take a break, drink some water, and take a nap, bad days happen.
Yeye also taught me resourcefulness and creativity. American fishing is funny. They use scientifically backed and artificial lures to “ensure efficiency” and SUREEE, maybe according to the scientific method it works but it’s just so boring. But I won’t lie, I was caught up in all that hocus pocus too at first. I always criticized Yeye’s choice to use his homemade bait made with expired cake bars or cornmeal and compared it to the “proven” Powerbait sold at our local tackle store. But every time we competed, I got smacked up. Sure, you can maybe chalk it up to Yeye having over 60 years of experience over me but the joy in using bait does not lie in what is most efficient. It’s the feeling you get after each catch, realizing that it’s your bait and not one made in a factory that landed you this fish. There’s a difference between using the thickest genetically modified nightcrawler worm that you’ve ever seen and the worms you pick up off the street after a fresh rain or the worms you spend hours digging up. The satisfaction is unparalleled. It’s honestly not about the best or most efficient way you do things, as long as you’re enjoying what you’re doing, the journey doesn’t matter even if it seems more strenuous.
My only regret in fishing is that I always took it for granted. I don’t think Yeye really meant to teach me life lessons but it’s ironic because that’s the only thing I did learn. The things Yeye intentionally taught me like how to make bait, how to tie specific knots, how to thread your line, how to determine how much weight to use, how to determine water depth, and so much more, I forgot. Maybe it’s because I took for granted Yeye’s presence so I never thought to myself, this might not last forever. And it hasn’t. Yeye lives in China and as I grew older, my increasing responsibility stands in the way of our reunification. Summer, the season that used to be known as the time I sat on a flight for 14 hours, relaxing under the Hainan sun, and eating reganmein/beef noodle soup soon became synonymous with summer school, SAT prep, work, VBS, and now internships. And I’ve forgotten it all. I often talk about going fishing with friends but I’m afraid. I’m afraid of facing the water as a shell of myself and not being able to live up to all of Yeye’s efforts. I won’t be able to pass on the joys, the sadness, the successes, and the failures to anyone else like Yeye did for me. It’s a sad realization that I’ve discovered as I grow older and yearn for simpler times. And despite my intentions to visit my motherland soon, Yeye is much, much older. Despite his wide smile and joy whenever we speak over WeChat video, the age in his face shows. No longer are the signs of vibrancy and energy. What remains are his tremors and his frail figure.
Yeye! I’m sorry that my knowledge of fishing is not passed down from your tongue but rather from someone else at the end of my YouTube video. I hope all is well with your soul and that despite your age, you’re able to find satisfaction in the little things of life. Although you will most likely never read this, just know I am so grateful for everything you’ve done for me in my childhood. You built my character and I will always regret not majoring in Marine Biology LOL. I love you Yeye and I hope I will again be able to shake your shaking hand again one day.
